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Chapter Three: Hardiness and Resilience: When Giving In Can Give Us a Lift

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“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
Confucius (551–479 BC), Chinese thinker and social philosopher

We tend to think of unwavering steadfastness and never-say-die persistence as important leadership qualities. To a point they are. But resilience in the face of the hurricane-force winds of change is as often about being flexible like a palm tree rather than unbending like an oak.

Like so much of life, it’s about balance. W.C. Fields was on to something about resilience when he quipped, “If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.” Sometimes the wisest thing to do is to let it storm, find shelter, and look for an alternate route to our dream. Maybe it wasn’t even the right dream; we may need to accept what the universe is trying to tell us and reset our destination.

Psychologists Gregory Miller and Carsten Wrosch contrasted and studied people who are relentless and unbending and people who accept and flex with life’s twists and turns. They found that flexible people were much healthier than their steadfast counterparts. Stress levels were quite a bit lower, and a protein indicating bodily inflammation linked to diabetes and heart disease was much lower. The flexible, resilient group was able to bounce back more effectively from serious defeats, less likely to dwell on the past, set new goals, and get on with their lives.

“The leaders I met, whatever walk of life they were from, whatever institutions they were presiding over, always referred back to the same failure, something that happened to them that was personally difficult, even traumatic, something that made them feel that desperate sense of hitting bottom — as something they thought was almost a necessity. It’s as if at that moment the iron entered their soul; that moment created the resilience that leaders need.”
Warren Bennis, Distinguished Professor of Business Administration and Founding Chairman of The Leadership Institute at the University of Southern California

“I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?”
Yogi Berra (1925–), former Major League Baseball player and manager

“Resilient people and companies face reality with staunchness, make meaning of hardship instead of crying out in despair, and improvise solutions from thin air. Others do not…We all know people who, under duress, throw up their hands and cry, ‘How can this be happening to me?’ Such people see themselves as victims, and living through hardship carries no lessons for them. But resilient people devise constructs about their suffering to create some sort of meaning for themselves and others…an increasing body of empirical evidence shows that resilience — whether in children, survivors of concentration camps, or businesses back from the brink — can be learned.”
Diane L. Coutu, “How Resilience Works,” Harvard Business Review

“Really negative events have the ability to shake up the status quo in your life, which opens the door for change. You could become a depressed, despairing drunk — or you could become a much better person.”
W. Keith Campbell, professor of social psychology at the University of Georgia

“More than education, more than experience, more than training, a person’s level of resilience will determine who succeeds and who fails. That’s true in the cancer ward, it’s true in the Olympics, and it’s true in the boardroom.”
Dean Becker, president and CEO of Adaptiv Learning Systems

It’s a bitter swill to wallow.

 

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To Help You Decide

Read the Introduction

  • Growing Forward

  • Thriving in Turbulent Times

  • What's New? Wrong Question. What Matters is What Works

  • Shaped By Our Experience: Where I am Coming From?

  • All Aboard for the City Tour

  • What Sets This Book Apart

  • Wit Happens

Book’s Core Model/Framework (Chapter Three)

  • Wallow, Follow, Lead

  • WFL: Which Framing Level?

  • WFL Model: Which Framing Level?

  • Payoffs of Taking the Lead

  • Cognitive Psychology: Choosing Our Reality

  • Explanatory Style: Don’t P and Should Yourself

  • Positive Psychology and Happiness

  • Hardiness and Resilience: When Giving In Can Give Us a Lift

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Click to hear Jim outlining how Growing @ the Speed of Change is written, and priced, for broad distribution to frontline, as well as, supervisory and management staff who need to accept change, and adapt to the challenges and opportunities it brings.


Jim Clemmer: Keynote Speaker, Workshop/Retreat Leader, and Management Team Developer
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